Will you blow on my dice?
Where did you get a picture of my penis
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
