well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
Randomize
