Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
