ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
Semen is not good for contacts.
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I spent part of my valentines extracting candy hearts from a woman's vagina. The entire time I was thinking "this job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes. This job pays for my Mercedes."
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Lest it die in the depths of eternal drunken recall denial...we peed in the street. Middle of the street. Simultaneously. Peed. Street. Middle of street.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
I have to charm this cab driver. Hold on.
Randomize
