We won't sleep together?
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
i just used shampoo as lube. why? because i'm worth it.
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
Rolling one last joint on my Psych textbook before trading it in. I might actually cry.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
Randomize
