I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
