So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Going to the ER, I'll explain later but apparently drunk me isn't allergic to peanut butter.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
Why did two squirrels just run out from behind the couch?
About that.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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