Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
my vagina can't take this anxiety. there is no way he is 19 and this smooth. he's lying about his age or he's a goddamn sexual prodigy
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
At least you got some excitement going on, you got weed and might die tonight, I'm just sitting here bored as fuck.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
Randomize