WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
Hey! Happy Birthday! Could you do me a favor and bring my underwear to the bar?
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
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