i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Randomize
