Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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