my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Nobody will take a lit match to your nipple without warning you this time. Pinky swear.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
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