Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
Randomize
