Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
