As a pleasant surprise..I woke to find a Burrito and Bottle of Gatorade .....Merry XMAS to ME
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
I love him more than I love myself. Which is a lot...Because I'm narcissistic.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
