You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
Randomize