i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
