PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Shit, I may have left some acid in your bathroom last night. Has he been in there lately.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Not only did she fulfill a life long dream of mine of banging in a library, she bought me subway for lunch. I feel like I got the best gold star ever today.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
