That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Made eye contact with his twin sister the day after he gave me a lifechanging blowjob. Do you think she knows?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
