somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
why the fuck is there hamburger meat in the toaster. i repeat: WHY THE FUCK IS THERE HAMBURGER MEAT IN MY NEW TOASTER
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Randomize
