halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
Randomize
