perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Randomize
