I want to walk on stilts...naked
Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
i feel like a cleansing fire is the only way to purify the house
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
