My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
Just promise me you won't ring in the new decade by clutching onto a toilet
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
The problem with never associating with your roommate is that you never know if they're dead in their room with the door closed or just gone for the weekend...I sprayed some febreeze just in case.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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