Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Can you repeat that, but with context?
You're now part of the minority of friends who haven't seen my boobs.
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
Randomize
