yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Kayla got stiches in her face. Rode in an ambulance shotgun. Tried to steal a baby, thought it was mine
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
Randomize
