You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
I have aggressive nipples.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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