So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
