last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Randomize
