were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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