She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
Just saw 30+ dicks. Explain later.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Some kid just walked into class with his schedlue written on a keystone box.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
how do you say “i know we haven’t hung out in a month, but i gave myself an amazing orgasm to your picture the other day” without coming on too strong
Randomize
