i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
