my sisters under your porch take her home
don't worry dude, we didn't fuck on your bed out of respect for you
couldn't find a condom?
basically
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I was just thinking about our drunk conversation about having sex with elephants the other night. Love you bud. Stay strong.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
