awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
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