Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
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