i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
are you putting in a lot of effort today like appearance wise
I am taking my rightful place as emperor of the undead appearance wise
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
