I'm drive I can fine osifer
Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
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