He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I appreciate that you take the time to fix your typos even while masturbating
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
Randomize
