when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
WTF YOU HAVE A GIRLFRIEND?
Oh yeah that.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
My Uber driver last night was driving a taxi and tried to charge me fare.
You didn't get in your Uber because your ex was driving, that was a legitimate taxi.
i out mim tonsoeep
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize