areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
And with one simple text you can separate the men from the boys...."it's that time of the month."
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
We're getting a bucket of chicken and screwing around, so no, you can't join us.
Randomize
