We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Let's celebrate that I used a condom
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
where are my pants?
in the oven.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
