Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
