If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Don't read too much into what I just sent. I love you, always have, but I'm drunk and sorry for the confusion.
Which part? The boyfriend or the sex?
Boyfriend. SEX IS ON!!!
Randomize
