You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
You want anything?
Gatorade and you naked.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
God, I missed his penis.
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