Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize