k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
If I see one more commercial for The Secret Life of the American Teenager, I'm going to punch the next teenage girl I see in the uterus and scream, "Wear a condom!"
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
No I am not eating basil off your cock
In an m&m suit playing manhunt drunk. And you thought you werent guna have a good time
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
