Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
