I'm jealous of your bromance
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Uh oh I Hage to dance yes, my feet are Whitney Houston
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
