I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i woke up and my collection of plastic neon wayfarers were half-melted in the microwave. my drunk self hates my hipster self
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Birthday Treasure Hunt was to follow the clues. At each spot there was a stick on tattoo and a shot and at the end there was 2 cases of beer. I have 13 tattoos and don't remember turning 18.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Let's put it this way, there's not many girls I wouldn't let sit on my face
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
