God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
Randomize
