so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
Randomize