We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
He doesn't understand the concept of a strip club. He keeps falling in love
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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