Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize