Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Randomize
