We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
We're walking, taxis are a waste of money that can be spent on alcohol.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
I'm literally watching a webcam of the Vegas strip right now and it is making me sad.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
