Duck Duck Cougar?
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I was amazing, unlike anything he's ever experienced. I somehow made him feel young and old.and he never felt old before. He feels I will literally kill him. With my magic, lethal vagina.
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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