fml, blew my nose and red sprinkles came out and did the splits when i sneezed
The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
What should've been a 10 minute beer run turned into her having a 40 minute mental breakdown in my car while in the parking lot. She then asked if she could live at my house and be my girlfriend. Her finishing act was stealing my peanut m&m's.
Well, when a girl introduces herself as "stormy" and gets your number from her boyfriends phone, I'd say that your situation is to be expected.
How have you been? I haven’t talked to you since you dyed your pubes.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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