I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
