Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
