Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
So he has moved up to a stage 5 clinger...Surprised he didn't try to lure you into bed with tacos, like he did last time
Yeah... akward. I don't want a round 2
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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