hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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