Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Randomize
