do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I guess I fist pumped too hard. I hit my mom in the face and now we're sitting in the ER.
When we told the nurse what happened, she replied with "OH, Well you don't look Italian to me!"
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
