So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
we played lady & the tramp with a hash brown from McDonald's....im in love.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
