the jail released me with 39 mardi gras beads. I need details.
I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I want him to be my next love. So I'm taking it slow
As in ill only blow him next week
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
I can't wait for the 4th. I'll probably get drunk and end up puking all over whichever 18 year old I end up making out with.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
