im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I think I broke my toilet with my head. There are ceramic pieces everywhere. and I might still be drunk.
he's a mother fucking interior design major!! we boned and fell asleep and now we're laying in bed discussing what color i should paint my room. i'm marrying him
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
Randomize
