when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
tonight lets celebrate not being married
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm crying at a bar by myself drinking a pear martini drawing things dicks are scared of. How was your day?
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
All the doctor said was why
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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