ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
he sent me a winky sad face. i cannot deal this level of pathetically needy flirtatiousness.
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Note to self... Do not stick your head in a can of paint and try to paint the walls green with your hair
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
So... crashing at the hot bartender's place is not a solid marital decision.
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
Randomize
