I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I need to pull it together. I just cried my eyes out to Master Chef Junior.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Randomize
