so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Randomize
