If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
I woke up this morning with a half eaten bagel and an empty pack of imitation crab meat in my bed. This is going to be my response to pick up lines now.
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
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