i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
i puked in a jesus candle last night and then denied it... i'd say it was a pretty alright night
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