dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
Randomize
