the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
