Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Go for gold. Two birds with one vag.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Do you hit a new low in life when you have to carry around a puke bag in your purse when you're hungover?
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
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