he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
seeing an 80 year old woman puke in the bushes changes everything...
that's spring break in florida for ya
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
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