I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You yelled This cop is arresting me for possession! Possession of MARIJUANA!!", everyone cheered, and you let him handcuff you and take you away.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
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