this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
And he's in a frat. Everyone in a frat is gay. It's science.
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
