okay pat passed out under dana's car
no you cant smoke seaweed
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
You couldn't find any paper towel to clean up the wine you spilled, so you tried to use her cat.
ooh i remember now. Not very absorbent.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
Randomize
