Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
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